I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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