I heard we made out
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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