when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
