I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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