Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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