Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
