it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
