I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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