Already got asked if we're dating
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
