I'm drive I can fine osifer
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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