I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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