If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
