The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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