stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
