I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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