If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
