She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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