I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
love makes seman taste better
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
