So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize