We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
