Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
