STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
