Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found a bag of teeth...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
