She said her name was "party"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
