I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
