I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
