one two three fourrrrnication!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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