thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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