Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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