He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
