can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
