Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I still have a little drunk in my system
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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