Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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