dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ladies don't puke and tell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
