Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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