I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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