Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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