Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize