Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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