I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
