Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
