Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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