If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
