id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
handjob tips. give me some.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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