white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
