i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
