Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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