i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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