theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
