why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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