Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
