I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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