I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
