whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
