sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
