I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
