Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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