I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
