There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
