you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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