): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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