I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
