Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize