I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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